i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
