How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
