Sry I called you an 8
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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