You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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