1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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