I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
