she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
i think i just lost a toe
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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