It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
