god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
