Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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