I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
