READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
