I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize