U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
