So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Randomize
