Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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