Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
