I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
