this beer tastes like vomit already
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
