Where is the hickey?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
