you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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