Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
