fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
