Need sex. Gaining weight.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
they're like a gay fantastic four
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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