I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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