How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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