I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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