he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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