I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
tell me about the eggs
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
