You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
