I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize