This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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