david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
