I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
