I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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