I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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