you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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