arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
