I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
