She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
