Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize