Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize