We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
