yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
