hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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