I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
