Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize