Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
