I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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