Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize