Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
