You can't special order awesome
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Randomize