he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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