my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
