Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
