How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
