White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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