lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
