so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Blood and glitter go together right?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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