This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
