Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize