I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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