You're so nebulous sometimes
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
