we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
