Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The power of my boobs compel you
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
