is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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