I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
