I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
