Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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