omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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