I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
