Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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