now i know why i became what i already was.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
