marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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