I want to have your abortion
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
