Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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