Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
