Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
