Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
